(More
to Come Soon!)
- Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
* * * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
* * * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."
* * * * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."
A guy is walking along
the strip in
hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks
the hooker, "How much do you charge?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No
hand-job
is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those.
And, I own
them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
The guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a
try."
They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting
on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime,
worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a
blow-job
is $1,000?"
The hooker replies, "$1,500."
"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The
hooker replies, "Step
overhere to the window, big boy. Do you
see that casino just across the
street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a
blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides
to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me
up."
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.
He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.
He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and
unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some
pussy?"
The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you
something. Do you see how the whole city of
us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"
"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."